This scares me.
Starting a business, writing this blog, putting myself out into the world – all of it scares me.
Vulnerability is a powerful thing. Without it, it’s impossible to make real, lasting connections with people, even with those whom you deeply love. It is also the very definition of emotional exposure. It’s risky, unsettling, and scary.
I test my body’s physical limits almost daily, but exposing my true self in a vulnerable way is often an emotional limit that is difficult for me to reach. I tend to shy away from openness and, instead, protect myself with emotional (and sometimes physical) barriers.
Vulnerability aside, it has been a dream of mine to start my own business for as long as I can remember. My reasons for doing so are many. First, I want to share my knowledge with as many people as I can, and help as many people as possible. I also want to show my sons by example that they are capable of doing things that scare them. I want my sons to believe in and surround themselves with strong women, and draw strength from them. And most of all, I want to BE a strong woman who believes in herself.
At the beginning of the year I made a goal to launch an online training business. At the time, I was training clients in the gym, teaching multiple yoga class per week, teaching private and semi-private yoga sessions…..all while trying to be the best mom I can be while still maintaining my personal fitness goals. I was stretched thin, but I continued to accept new clients and add yoga classes to my schedule because I genuinely love helping people. This, along with being a mother, is my life’s calling.
I believed that offering online training would create some freedom in my schedule to spend more time with my family, as well as allow me to reach many more people, but I had no idea how to go about starting a business. I created a business plan, became an LLC, spent hours and hours creating a website, created legal documents….the list goes on. In the thick of figuring all of this out, I knew in the back of my mind that I needed a photoshoot. I knew I needed images of me in my element so I could promote myself. But I had no idea how vulnerable and human it would make me feel.
{INSERT BROOKE}
I met Brooke two days before my family and I moved from Japan back to the United States. I contacted her to photograph my family’s “sayonara” session and we instantly became friends. I was ecstatic when I learned that she would be moving to Virginia just a month after we did.
Kindness radiates from Brooke and her playfulness is effortless, but she is also one of the most talented women I know. She has a unique eye for creating a story with emotion through photographs, and I have been fortunate enough to have her create my story multiple times.
Brooke has photographed epic moments in my life. She was there when we said goodbye to Japan after three years, and photographed us as we left our hearts on the streets of Tokyo. She photographed us again a few months later as we prepared for our first American Christmas in three years. Brooke photographed me with my youngest son on his first birthday, and captured the connection he and I have after an extremely difficult year of postpartum depression, colic and frustration, and actively working on creating an unbreakable bond that wasn’t initially there. And she has now photographed the most epic moment in my professional life thus far.
Brooke contacted me a few months ago with a message that said something like, “I have this great idea and I want you to do it.” She had no idea that scheduling a photoshoot was on my list of priorities. The universe brought Brooke and I together and it continues to help me forge my path.
When Brooke asked to interview me for her blog, I was admittedly hesitant. Not because I didn’t want to do it, or because I didn’t think I had things to say. I hesitated because I knew it would require a great deal of vulnerability to put myself out into the universe. But, so far, the universe has been pretty good to me. If there’s one thing my lifting experience and yoga practice have taught me, it is that there is growth in discomfort.
As always, Brooke told my story in a way that I truly believe only she can, which you can read here. In the meantime, here’s me cracking my heart a little bit more open, one question at a time. Enjoy.
1. Tell me a little bit about your background.
I was raised in Utah, and spent my summers hiking and exploring mountains and canyons. I developed a love for the outdoors early on, which made sitting behind a desk almost unbearable. I spent 10 years working in the investment industry before trading in a desk and a computer for a yoga mat and barbell, and I never looked back. I have two very active little boys, ages 7 and 3, who keep me laughing and exhausted.
2. We both know life happens...did something inspire you/or did you have a personal event that made you want to step into the fitness world?
I was the chubby kid in my family and I ate my insecurities and feelings through high school and early adulthood. At the age of 23, I made a decision to change my life while I was hiking through a slot canyon in Southern Utah with my family. I was so out of shape and embarrassingly slow that I didn’t enjoy the hike at all, which was devastating to me because I LOVE hiking. I went home that day and resolved to change my life for good. And I did! I immersed myself into getting healthy, which eventually led to a consistent yoga practice then, later, bodybuilding and powerlifting.
3. In three words, describe yourself.
Playful, compassionate, indomitable
4. Walk me through your fitness/life routine.
My fitness routine has ebbed and flowed with life, but it is something that will always be a priority to me. I lift weights 5 days per week and practice yoga whenever I can get it in. Some days I lift before my sons wake up for the day, other days I lift after they're asleep. And sometimes I rely on the wonderful childcare at the gym or yoga studio so I can have a couple of hours to myself. Regardless of when it happens, I always make time for myself. Doing so makes me a better mom!
When I'm not playing with my two young sons or working out, I train clients in-person and online. I absolutely love helping people and sharing my knowledge, even if it keeps me very busy at times.
5. Do you have any certifications, if so, what?
I am a Certified Fitness Trainer and Certified Nutritionist, both of which are through the International Sports Sciences Association. I am also a 200 Hour Experienced Registered Yoga Teacher (E-RYT) through Yoga Alliance. But, I'm always a student! I love learning and applying my knowledge. I have made a goal to earn my 500 Hour RYT, as well as add certifications in Senior Fitness, Powerlifting, and Myofascial Release.
6. There are a lot of misconceptions about yoga and that you have to be in-shape or know what you're doing to participate in a class. What is your take on this?
Yoga is for everybody, and every body. Unfortunately, the misconception that you have to look a certain way, or move a certain way, to practice yoga is perpetuated by what is seen on popular yoga magazines or ads for trendy yoga clothing. The beauty of yoga is that it is a deeply personal and introspective practice, and invites you to turn inward and meet yourself where you are. A lot of these misconceptions ("I'm not flexible enough" or "I don't look good in yoga pants" or "I can't balance on my head") are internal messages we tell ourselves to hold us back from experiences. A consistent yoga practice invites a process of self-discovery, and as we go deeper into self reflection, letting go of some of that negative self-talk becomes a little easier.
“The beauty of yoga is that it is a deeply personal and introspective practice, and invites you to turn inward and meet yourself where you are.”
7. Society often paints the picture of what women should look like. Looking to our future generation, what is the advice you would give girls struggling with body image and acceptance?
Body image is something I have struggled with personally from a very early age. The world is constantly telling girls to take up less space - to be smaller, to talk less, to BE LESS. It comes from every angle. Social media, our peers, magazines, movies, etc. I would love to see every girl struggling with body image and acceptance to pick up a barbell and step into her power. I want every girl to find her voice and take up her rightful space in the world.
““I would love to see every girl struggling with body image to pick up a barbell and step into her power. I want every girl to find her voice and take up her rightful space in the world.””
8. What has been the hardest obstacle you have had to overcome? And how did you get through it?
At the age of 27, I divorced my first husband and had to overcome getting through the devastation of a loss at such a young age, reinventing myself, and opening myself up to the possibility of finding love again. I can truly say my yoga practice saved my life. I immersed myself in my practice and found safety and peace on my mat. My yoga practice has consistently shown up for me for 12 years - through divorce, colicky babies, injuries, and self-doubt.
9. What are two unique things about Amy that we don't know.
1 - I'm deathly afraid of heights, but I love to climb mountains.
2 - I know all the words to Shoop by Salt n Pepa and, although it is likely taking up valuable real estate in my brain, I will karaoke this song until the day I die.
10. As growing individuals, we all have those big, scary dreams. What is yours?
My big, scary dream is to grow my online training business so I can help as many people as possible, while having the freedom to stay home and play with my kids.
11. What is your greatest joy? And what is your biggest fear?
My greatest joy is being a mother and seeing my kids happy. My biggest fear, by far, is my boys some day losing their happiness.
12. Anything else you want to add. The floor is yours!
We need more women empowering women! I'm so grateful for friends like Brooke who shares her amazing talent with me, and helps to give me a voice and a story to put out into the world.